Obsessive Compulsive

Obsessive Compulsive!

Where’s the plan? Who’s got the plan? What is the plan? I need a plan!

My old horse-trainer is rolling his eyes and silently laughing at me right now. I can feel it.

Here is the NaBloPoMo Plan for each day of this month:
 (Updated to reflect D.S.O. Sponsors)

1. Halloween

2. 40 Days of Community

3. Holiday Shopping Challenge

4. Take and post a picture APWG Writing Prompt

5. Dink(y) Sells Out! If you email me by November 1st with 4 new post topics that you would like me to write about on this blog, I will plug your blog on November 5th! Go ahead, Delurk!

6. Weight Watchers progress and accountability update

7. Ten on Tuesday A post from the unfinished draft archive

8. Use a writing Prompt  One Lump or Two?

9. Plug another Newlywed Blog

10. D.S.O._Somebody solicited my advice???_

11. Take and post a picture
12. D.S.O._Weekend shenanagins_

13. Accountability update

14. Self Portrait Tuesday

15. Writing Prompt

16. Anti-Narcissism Day: write about somebody else for crying out loud!!

17. D.S.O._This Post is Brought to you by the Letter “P”_

18. Diabetic Gourmet: go read it!!

19. Thanksgiving recipe with picture

20. Acountability Update

21. Ten on Tuesday Recipes – Someone asked a *Newlywed* to cook!?

22. D.S.O._Alternative Uses for Utensils__

23. Thanksgiving Picture

24. Thanksgiving Post
25. Take a picture

26. “Holiday Shopping” had better be DONE!

27. Accountability Update

28. Self Portrait Tuesday

29. Writing Prompt

30. NaBloPoMo Party!

NaBloPoMo Warm Up

NaBloPoMo Warm Up
Writing Prompt: “Tell a story today about something (consumable) that you couldn’t live without.”

I don’t know how I’m living! You know that part of the Roadrunner cartoon where the coyote realizes that he’s run off the cliff and is standing in mid air? While we were dating we were going through “Questions for Couples” (see the book in the right side-bar, BUY IT!). One of the questions was “What’s the best part about being your gender?” Strawberry Lipbalm. Bonne Belle Strawberry Lipbalm is my crack.

And you know what’s sad? I can’t remember the last time I had a tube. I’ve taken stock of how many half-used beauty products I own and vowed not to buy another until I’ve used up each half-used container. I’m still trying "to use up all of those nasty," ineffective, and icky-tasting  Avon-interpretations-of-lipbalm that my mother has been stuffing my stocking with for the last 15 years.

Or maybe strawberry lipbalm was my crack. Chai tea lattes? My drink of choice at the wonderful Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, but I’m no mocha-mamma, I can go for a week or two with out that spicy creamy goodness.

Dark chocolate Hershey’s kisses. The quick fix. Concentrated chocolatey goodness measured by the gram. I’ve sworn off milk chocolate, because I always anticipate a thrill, and then milk chocolate doesn’t deliver. Most of the milk chocolate I get my hands on just tastes cheap.

mmmmmmm. Dark chocolate Hershey’s kisses. Trick or Treat!!

Ode To Damage Control:

At 4 am, there ain’t nuthin on T.V. except Lunesta and Mystery Depression Medication commercials. I hate sleepless nights.

::Gasp:: Two steps back!

Friday, I put up my last post and went to check my RSS feeds just as I was running out the door for date night. DOH! Remind me to check the RSS feed before I post anything!

I offer up the following Ode To Damage Control:

“There's a blog theme thing going on, NaBloPoMo, a post every day in November thing. I signed up, and because I battle anxiety about everything, I planned out what I was going to write every day for the whole month and posted it on my blog.

Then I went back today and wrote a post with the theme of “I'm gonna post before I check all the other blogs on my rss feed” and posted a depressing “I got nothing to say because I don't want to spew all my personal anxiety, depression, and family issues on the net” post. And THEN I checked my RSS feed, and saw that Mrs. Kennedy from Fussy (a relatively Big Fish blogger) plugged my blog on her site today. This is exactly the kind of social situation that makes me a nervous wreck!

Look at that dumb luck!? Hoooooooooooooow could I be so dumb? Mrs. Kennedy is sending who-knows-how-many people to my blog and I've just posted a “woe is me” post!?

My dilemma is, do I pull the post down before *everybody* sees it, and repost it later when it's funny? Or do I leave it up like it is: Hi, welcome to my site, I have no self-esteem, you want to bookmark me, right?”

I sent out this panicked email to DH, several non-blogging friends, and a few bloggers I met at Blogher. Most of the feedback I got was in the vein of “It’s your blog about you, leave it up!” I did leave it up with a minor change in the wording of the paragraph about our marriage. I’m feeling pretty good about that. I can’t believe I’m blogging that I called Fussy a Big Fish.

Date Night did totally rock. I got a fair amount of me time on Saturday because DH slept in until noon-thirty. Moose’s band was really good (if you think screaming and growling=music).

Sunday, I remembered to pick up a birthday gift for the boss, and I had some time to try my hand at canning applesauce. Speaking of canning, remind me not to take on new projects armed only with directions from the internet.

Hoagie

Hoagie

There is this thing... long gone now, but you were to "Go over here and nominate your favorite amature blogger for a Hoagie".

The categories are:

  • Friendliest Blog
  • Super Best Writing
  • Cleverest Commenter
  • Best Blog Written by a Heather
  • Hilarious-est Blog
  • Blogger Who Should be President

Guess who won! Not me!

 

Basketcase

Pre-RSS blogging. Ok, how stupid is this?

I got nuthin’ to say!

I sit down to my rss feeds to see wazzup in the blogherhood, and I read aaaaaaaall about what’s going on, and then after I’ve had my morning coffee bloggy, I think “well, she said it best, nothing more to add.”

Dur!?

So today, a post without first checking the rss feed:

How ’bout all that crazy stuff on cnn.com today? How ’bout those Mets? Duuuuuuude The Internet has been depressed lately. I hope everyone’s okay. Today, I, like totally had, like, a hamburger for lunch.

::crickets chirping::

I’ve drawn a heavy line between what I will and will not blog about. Unfortunately what happens is that there full months when all the goings-on are going on on the other side of the line.

I don’t blog about my day job, because, well, that’s just dumb. I would prefer not to wear a big red sign that says “Hi My Name Is: Please Fire Me.” I don’t blog about my part-time teaching gig for the same reasons. There go 44 hours of unbloggable writing fodder.

I don’t blog about the problems in our marriage, because that’s just not nice. We were taught during premarital counseling that serious issues should be kept between our marriage and a professional. So far, that has been the best policy for us, and I haven’t seen a reason to change. I will not use this space to get back at him: “Hello, My Name Is: I Fight Below The Belt.” On the other hand, I haven’t seen too many marriage counselors set up shop in our neighborhood. Who do I talk to?

I don’t blog about my three loves; Goose, Moose & Monkey because they are minors and I respect their parent’s decision to not allow information about them on the internet.  After The Incredibles came out on DVD they rushed me into the house and insisted that I sit down to watch the extended scenes. We all laughed together watching Jack-Jack torment the babysitter. Jack-Jack’s got nothin on Moose. God love ‘em. They are my joy. I hope they know that. If this could be a babysitter blog, It’d be all them all the time. BOY have I got some stories for you. “Hello, My Name Is: That Crusty Old Lady Who’s Always Talking About The Old Days.”

I don’t blog about my family. I resent my perceived role in the family as The Keeper Of The Peace, and the expectation that I’m required to keep everyone’s secrets for them. I would love nothing more than to reach out into the Internet and grab up as much support for this burden as I can find.
Unfortunately, The Internet has many ears.

I can’t blog about my mom’s pet project, my brother’s recent major surgery, my father’s engagement, and the friendships that I’ve had to destroy because of the secrets they make me keep. I can’t have "a real and honest" conversation with any of my extended family because I am expected to dance around and juggle which thing I’m not supposed to say to who about what. I’m not sure who I have a genuine relationship with.

I’m tired of carrying all of this weight. I’m tired of losing friends. I’m gonna drop the ball. I can’t take the pressure, and I’ve been really depressed about this for the better (that is a stupid expression) part of my life. “Hello, My Name Is: Basketcase.”

It’s consuming. It’s exhausting. I’m losing myself.

There’s a tagline on a blog I read “lying by omission so it all seems just ducky.” After reading that blog long enough, I can guess what parts of her life aren’t “ducky.” That works for some people. Chronicle the positive so that it’s easy to look back on. I don’t know how to do it, so I end up posting cheesy avatars or nothing at all.

Tonight is date night. In the morning, I will get some genuine “me time.” Tomorrow will be the first time I get to hear Moose’s band perform. And now I get to go read all of your posts in my RSS feed.

::Inhale. Exhale. One foot forward::

Lego my Legos

Lego My Legos - A Poem?

“Write a poem, story or little ditty with the word LEGO in it!”

My little brother, he played with Legos as a kid. There are two ginormous pirate ship sets. One year my brother asked for one for Christmas and one for his birthday. There were Legos everywhere. Fourteen Bazillion Legos on his bedroom floor. There were many a decapitated pirate who's little bearded head had been sucked into the vacuum cleaner. I hate shoes. I have wide feet which never would fit into children’s shoes, so I was usually barefoot and would often step on a stray Lego wedged into the carpet. Ouch!

DH? He will sometimes tell me that he played with Lego too. When he got in trouble, his mom would threaten to take away his Lego. A Lego. I tease him because I can never imagine how much fun it would be to play with one Lego... Kind of like playing with a Log? I keep forgetting to ask him what color his Lego was.

Yesterday I saw a commercial for Lego blocks, and the announcer used “Lego” in the plural also. Who knew?

.. I know, I know... I still don't have the lego poem written... and won't ever! I still have nutt'en to say! Geez.

We Got Married !?

Love Thursday: The Pizza Edition: We Got Married !?

In 2006, we had been married just a year. I talked him into We had chosen to start our lives in a 650 square-foot, one-bedroom apartment. We paid pennies for rent, and saved like squirrels. It was important to me to start our marriage off in the black. And we did it. Together.

We paid off his car, we paid off my student loans, and we lived off his income. That year, I put a third of my income into The Down Payment Fund. Because real estate in California, it has to get better soon, right? Right?

That Guy I Married already had a kitchen full of stuff. We registered for two whole kitchen gadgets, and then spent 4 months going to five stores trying to figure out where people bought 6 cookie sheets, 5 cupcake pans, 3 crock pots and 2 blenders so we could return them. Because there was just no room.

I pulled this video up today, and almost died laughing, not just because I can’t sing. I had forgotten that this moment, this tiny kitchen, his habit of pulling out the camera at the most embarrassing times (usually while I’m cooking), has become a part of who I am.

This was the year that we looked at each other weekly and said “We got married!?” This was the year that I got in the habit of buying Honey Nut Cheerios, and saving money by sealing dinners in the Food Saver. This was the year that I rewashed the same four lead-crystal glasses every day, because we didn’t have room for a full set. This was the year he worked from home, in the living room, with no sanctuary to call his own.

The mega-shelf in the kitchen was our first joint home improvement project. The first of many where I said “Well, I need something that…” and he came home from Home Depot with a solution.

This was the year that I learned it was okay to sing a song when I felt like it, because I know I won’t be laughed at (well, I won’t be told to shut up) in Our Home.

Heeeeeere Lurkey Lurkey Lurkey!

Heeeeeere Lurkey Lurkey Lurkey!

’nuff said.

Leave a comment!

I’ve had a site redesign in the works since BlogHer 06. The masthead is done, the blogskin is done, any guesses when you’ll actually get to see it?

Lets Review… 2006.

  1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
    Stood in church and sang hymns with my family, instead of somone elses.
  2. What places did you visit?
    San Jose, Ca -Blogher
    Dana Point, Ca - 1st Anniversary
    Toronto, and Ottawa, Ontario
  3. What was your favorite film of this year?
    You expect me to remember the films I’ve seen this year?
  4. What was your favorite holiday in 2006 and why?
    Ugh. Gosh. Halloween is usually my fav, but The Kids are too old for it now.
  5. What was your most watched tv show during 2006?
    Waaaaay too much Law & Order, The Pretender
  6. What was your favorite TV program?
    Gilmore Girls
  7. What was the best book or book series you read?
    Dean Koontz, Odd Thomas series
  8. What was your greatest musical discovery?
    The Afters
  9. Which celebrity/public figure did you read about/keep up with the most?
    Heather B. Armstrong
  10. What relationships began, ended, or significantly changed during 2006? Why and how?
    Hmmm. Ended a couple of friendships because of family drama (it wasn’t your fault guys, but I can’t deal with this). Got an out-of-the-blue phone call from BFNF#2 (Best Friend Not Forever #2) from junior high school. She came out of nowhere.
  11. What was your biggest expenditure in 2006? Do you feel you got your money’s worth?
    12 day trip to Canada
  12. Who was your mentor or role model in 2006?
    Hmmmmm?
  13. Who was the most helpful professional or service person you dealt with in 2006?
    The Southwest Airlines lady who let me change my nonrefundable ticket to a work conference at the last minute.
  14. Who was the least helpful professional or service person you dealt with in 2006?
    Avis Rental Cars. Please don’t get my husband started on this one.
  15. Did you learn any new skills in 2006? If so, what?
    Hmm.. it’s been a while since I burned dinner.
  16. What skills did you work on developing further or fine tuning in 2006?
    Teaching introductory computer classes is getting easier.
  17. What did you learn about yourself in 2006?
    I need to stop hanging on to friendships that aren’t there. If you love someone, set them free..
  18. What did you learn about someone close to you in 2006?
    Since when does he not like Cherry Tomatoes?
  19. What did you keep close to your heart in 2006?
    My Halloween candy dish
  20. What transitions did you experience in 2006?
    650 square foot, one-bedroom apartment shared with another person.
  21. What was your biggest achievement/accomplishment/personal gain of 2006?
    I’m bad at answering stuff like this.
  22. What was your biggest failure/setback/disappointment of 2006?
    I gained back a portion of the weight I had previously lost and became even more sedentary than before, which I did not realize was possible.
  23. What was your personal success that was the most meaningful to you in 2006? (Not the same question as 21 as the biggest may or may not be the most personally meaningful)
    Ditto #21
  24. Did you suffer illness or injury in 2006? Is it ongoing or better now?
    I don’t remember. Let me check my archives… DH is the one who’s been sick this year.
  25. What was the best thing you bought in 2006?
    A shopping question? Come on, you can do better than that!
  26. What was the best gift you received in 2006?
    A family bible, a red pea coat, and a suprise birthday party.
  27. Whose behavior merited celebration in 2006?
    Am I supposed to rate my friends and family like a child?
  28. Whose behavior upset you greatly?
    Again, is this a third-grade report card?
  29. What did you do for fun in 2006?
    I went to BlogHer
  30. What song will always remind you of 2006?
    Waiting, Waiting on the SONG to change!
  31. What do you wish you’d done more of in 2006?
    exercise
  32. What do you wish you’d done less of in 2006?
    Sitting at my computer
  33. Did you fall in love or date anyone significant in 2006?
    That’s kinda frowned uppon in wedlock.
  34. How many one-night stands or brief encounters did you have in 2006?
    Again, frowned uppon.
  35. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
    Same list, pretty much.
  36. Do you love anyone now that you didn’t love this time last year?
    No, but I have a blogcrush on Carmen!
  37. What did you want or need and get?
    A red wool walking coat!!
  38. What did you want or need and not get?
    I didn’t get to decorate my home for Christmas.
  39. What was your absolute weirdest encounter with another human being during 2006?
    I have a few nutty students… shouldn’t go there in public though.
  40. What was your best/happiest encounter with another human being during 2006?
    BFNF#2  called me out of thin air.
  41. What was your worst/most distressing encounter with another human being in 2006?
    BFNF#1 still hasn’t explained why she wasn’t at my wedding (BFNF#3 did, but it was a crappy excuse).
  42. What got fixed and improved in 2006 and who fixed it?
    Ray fixed our garbage disposal a few times.
  43. What was the prettiest thing you saw during 2006?
    The beach on our first anniversary.
  44. Who did you miss in 2006?
    BFNF#1, #2, & #3, see above.
  45. Whose presence were you grateful for every day (or nearly every day)?
    That Guy I Married is *always here, I can’t figure out why he keeps coming back!
  46. Who was the best new person you met or got to know in 2006?
    Ok, these questions are getting circuitous: my bloggy crushy.
  47. What was the best gift you gave to another being during 2006?
    I gave somebody something? I can’t remember.
  48. What are you proud of from 2006?
    I made it through 12 days in Canada in WINTER and didn’t complain about the cold ONCE!
  49. What good thing did you persist in despite tiredness, boredom, or discouragement during 2006?
    Helping with the preschoolers in Sunday school. LORD, I’d rather be in the nursery instead!
  50. What dumb thing did you persist in despite better knowledge in 2006?
    Eating out all. the. time. the first year we were married. Bad, bad idea.
  51. If applicable, what kept you sane?
    The occasional jog.
  52. If applicable, what drove you crazy?
    I’m to tired to count. See this year’s archive for “Stop Poking Me.”
  53. What was your most meaningful moment of 2006, the thing that makes you say, “yes, this is all worthwhile!”?
    Ugggh. This is starting to sound like a college application!
  54. What stable thing in your life became less stable in 2006?
    Oh, we’re teetering on the ledge of sanity here!
  55. What unstable thing in your life became more stable in 2006?
    A few friendships.
  56. What political issue made you the happiest?
    Who put “political issue” and “happiest” in the same sentence?
  57. What political issue disturbed you the most?
    Why do you tell me that my vote matters, and then tell me that I live in a blue state, so I already voted as a Democrat?
  58. What decisions did you make in 2006 that will likely affect 2007 and beyond?
    The finances. We have a plan. Darn it!
  59. What is a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006 that you would like to pass on to others?
    People who are screaming at you: it’s usually not really about you.  
  60. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
    “I’m coming out of my cage, and I’ve been doing just fine.” The Killers, Mr. Brightside.

What A Boy Wants

What a boy wants, what a boy needs…

DH finally got around to cleaning out “those bins” of junk that have been vexing me since we moved in. Yay!

He found a 10 year old floppy disk with a copy of a document titled “What DO I want?” (in a woman). He was twenty two when he wrote this; lets see how I measure up?

someone daring, who shares my life motto of “try anything once, twice
if you like it”, yet conservative enough to recognize someone’s limits,
and not to push past those limits: check

someone who is caring, who can read my mind when I don’t really know
how I’m feeling, or thinking: D-.

someone who can recognize what I’m going through, and offer genuine
support for my troubles: D-.

someone who has “been there, done that” and can offer practical advice: Well, since I really do know everything.

someone who doesn’t push their opinions on me like they’re the law: You mean he didn’t like it when I told him that the goat-E had to go?

someone who can look into my eyes and understand my moods: The man has two moods; “Good,” and “Fine.” That should be easy enough.

someone whose eyes I can stare into for hours without them asking
“what are you looking at?” OOPS.

someone whose inner beauty outshines their physical appearance: Isn’t that what you say to placate a fat wife? Does he want a fat wife? Wait a minute, am I a fat wife?

someone who laughs at my jokes: I laugh at him when he tries to tell jokes all the time!

someone who can TELL jokes: I got one for ya: “What do you call a cow that has just given birth?”

someone carefree, and loving, and not afraid to get close to me: Where’s my hug?

someone mature enough to take a joke, yet immature enough to be
willing to play one: D-.

someone brave enough to say “yes”, but also brave enough to say “no”,
and being able to tell the difference: Exactly, Yes means No, and No means Yes, except for when No really means: “NOT ON YOUR LIFE, BUDDY.”

someone that can take “no” for an answer: Sure, I’ll take No for an answer the first 19 times, and he’ll eventually cave in and say yes!

someone who can take care of me when I have the sniffles: You mean I’m supposed to do something other than throw a box of tissues at him?

someone who doesn’t whine about the littlest things, like stubbing
their toe: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?

someone who knows enough about what I do at work to share my
excitement and frustrations, but is willing to learn about what I do
when they don’t understand something: Uh, yeah, he like, uh, works on computers or something, and sometimes he makes my Blog pretty.

someone who will let me visit them if they’re baby-sitting, and let me
Help: He doesn’t know this yet, but he’s got Diaper Duty ’til Death Do Us Part

someone strong enough in their relationship with God that they can
teach me a thing or two: Lesson One – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 – “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body,” AND GET YOUR BOOTY TO THE GYM. AMEN.

someone who can share in the ministry that God has called me into, yet not afraid to ask for support in the areas that God wants to use them. He has an appointment with the recruitment table on Sunday morning

someone willing to pray with me: Especially when he says, “Dear God, Thank you for Elizabeth”

someone willing to pray *for* me, ’cause Lord knows I need it: Check.

someone who likes cats: Sure, I like Cat Scans, and Cat’s Cradle, and Catsup…

someone mature enough in their walk with God that going out with
non-Christian friends doesn’t cause a major stumble: Define “Major” and then we’ll talk

someone who isn’t afraid to tell me when my clothes don’t match, but
isn’t so anal about it that they try to dress me every time they see me: We need to have a little talk about those jeans he’s wearing

someone who doesn’t try to over-analyze everything I say or do: Check.

someone who can give constructive criticism, but knows when to stop: You mean like “Get off your sedentary butt, and go to th.”?

someone who has similar tastes in music, art and movies: Dude, He expects me to like Stevie Wonder – don’t you think he needs to reevaluate his expectations just a little bit?

someone who isn’t afraid to tell me when I’m out-of-line without
sounding like harassment: Check.

someone that can tell a secret and know that they can trust me: Psst!

someone who can *keep* a secret, and assure me they are trustworthy: All the way to my grave!

someone who maintains a sense of faithfulness, foremost to God, then
to family, then to me: Um, you know that whole “I’m mad at God” thing, we need to talk.

I find it especially funny that he had this “want ad” posted on his personal website at the time.

I Have Pink Hair! Ha!

 I hemmed and hawed for years, then I finally did it.

I have pink hair. The husband, he has not disowned me! We’ll see about the boss tomorrow morning.

UPDATE! When I checked DH’s site this morning, he had updated my avatar… its pretty accurate.

And no, the boss didn’t fire me either.

Pink Hair

Pink Hair. If I want Pink Hair does not mean I'm Staid!

I want to be perfectly clear. Staid is a of settled or sedate character; not flighty or capricious.

 

“Characterized by sedate dignity and often a strait-laced sense of propriety; sober.”

I drank more at Blogher than I did in seven total years of college, and my blogher peeps think I’m “staid!”

I’m not staid! Really, I just have a giant stick up my hmm-hmm. Not that that’s any better… but still.

I’ve always had this false sense of delayed gratification. This isn’t so bad when we’re talking about saving for a house, and paying off the car loan. Its become a way of life. I got through grad school on a wing and a prayer. But, after years of living off ramen noodles and peanut butter, I can’t break it!!!

Nah – Let’s not go to Rome for our honeymoon, we could do it for our ten-year anniversary.
I wish I could take my favorite teenagers to the water park, ::sigh::
Oh, Honey, we don’t need cable tv.
I wish I wasn’t too old to buy a pair of Heely’s
I wish I could have pink streaks in my hair…
DH is very supportive of all my wacky ideas. When I whine that I wanna go to a water park, he says “lets go!” Even Heelys. He walks me around the parking lot holding me up so I don’t fall, just like my uncle Gil did when I was five years old.

I’ve been on a thing lately. Why do I need validation and approval before I can do something self-indulgent and wacky once in a while? I am an adult. I have a paycheck. I’m out of debt. I’m a dink. What is my problem!?

MiniMartha has to tell me to click the send button when I put bras in the shopping cart at Vict*riasSecr*t.com.

I have to use a little kid’s birthday party as an excuse to buy Paint-by-Number posters.

I “ask” DH if I can have pink hair, only because I know he’d never say no – and then I have to ask my hairstylist if she will do it!? I’m paying her and I have to have her permission to have pink hair? What the??

I’ve been looking for an excuse to make Shrinky-Dinks for over a decade. Does anyone know where I can order them online??

Mommy Bloggers Jr.

Mommy Bloggers Jr.

I had a friend from out of town come to visit me this weekend. While I was waiting for “her,” I wondered: at what point does a blog become a mommy blog, by mommy bloggers jr? Is it when you start blogging about peeing on little plastic sticks? Is it when you start asking the Internet to refer a good OBGYN? Is it when you slap your official “It’s a…” jpeg on your homepage?

No. Chill out already! This hasn't become a mommy blog, yet.

When do I get to join the club and start soliciting mommy blogger advice? Is there a junior membership? A mommy blogger equivalent to a Brownie Girl Scout?

Today I had to make a decision. Lord help me, I have no idea if it was the right one.

I was surfing “the latest reconnect with friends website,” clicking on links, and flipping through pictures. Each thousand-word-tale was some adventure or party, some perfect day or goofy pose. Its neat to see what each person picks as their shining moment to show the world, the things they are most proud of.

I wandered to the site of a woman who I went to school with but knew only by name. Cute pictures. Cute kid. Each picture accompanied by a comment filled with pride.

They’re the same pictures our parents took of us, and we (will) take of our kids. First missing tooth, first day at school, first yearbook picture. It doesn’t matter who’s kid is in the picture, who took the picture, where it was taken.

When you look at that picture you don’t see someone else’s kid, someone else’s memory. Your mind doesn’t absorb the details of the picture so much as your mind’s eye reaches back through your own memory. The feeling of running your tongue over that first bloody hole in your gum. The day that someone bent down and gave you the gift of your written name on a piece of construction paper cut out in the shape of a pencil. “This is yours. Let me show you, this is the letter…”

I can still feel the paper, wrinkled slightly, and pinned to my shirt.

That’s why we take pictures; to catch that moment. That’s why we share them with others; to help hang on to that emotion which is specific to that time and place. That’s why we stop to look at a picture we don’t belong to; to remember the moments that we do belong to.

I didn’t even see it until after I had gone on to read another website.

I missed the details of the picture I was looking at, because I was lost in the details of my own memory. Big black Sharpie-marker-letters, first name, last name, construction paper, safety pin, big smile, photograph, uploaded on the internet. Mom’s pride and joy.

I had to flip back at the site and stare. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing: First Name, Last Name, Big Smile, posted within one click of the page that listed the city and state that mom (and kid) live in.

The Internet makes the world smaller. Talk to your friend who is serving in the army in Kosovo. Make friends with a penpal in China. Send pictures of your pride and joy to Grandma on the east coast. The Internet brings everyone within your reach, but it makes it difficult to figuratively lock your doors at night.

I was so shocked. I paniced for her! I had to stop myself from yelling out loud at my keyboard to tell her “Look out! You forgot to crop your kid’s name out of this picture before you posted it!” As if I were literally warning her that someone left the swimmingpool gate open.

This is the part where I had to back up and say “Not the Mama!” I don’t know her. Can I email her and scream that the sky is falling? Will she think I’m a stalker? Will I terrify her into changing her phone number, and getting a PO box? Will she think I’m trying to tell her how to raise her kid? Am I being paranoid, assuming something horrible will happen to her kid? Is it really a big deal to post your kid’s picture on a website? Did she intend to crop the name out of this picture, but simply forget? Would she appreciate the reminder? What do I say to her?

Do I really even have the right to say anything?

I sent the email. I guess I’d rather be a stalker than an enabler.

Where are the lines drawn?

UPDATE:
A couple of days later she emailed back and said thanks, then she took the picture down.

Mpeg Recorder

Mpeg Recorder: MiniMartha bought us a way-too-snazzy-to-actually-use digital camera when we got married. I let DearHusband spend our honeymoon figuring out all nine hundred and seven features. Me, on the other hand: it was hard enough to learn to point and click, let alone point, click AND UPLOAD!

Today I found a reason to figure out how to work the sucker. I even got motivated enough to learn how to video-blog. Never mind the fact that I really *should* be cooking dinner for DH.

As of yet, this has been a BridezillaBlog and a Dink(y) NewlywedBlog. This is where I’m at in life right now. ‘Tis the season for learning to cook, learning to share the blankets, learning to de-pink the load of white laundry, and learning to let him get around to cleaning up the dining-room table when he gets around to it. These are the things I blog about now.

I don’t blog about everything. There are some things that just aren’t the Internet’s business (no offence to y’all). I take my ‘Tom Cruise Condemns Me Vitamin’ every night, I am a cynical ‘Gen-Xer’ and an ‘Adult Child of Divorce,’ an ‘Eating Disorder Survivor’ a ‘Recovering People Pleaser,’ and I am all the stereotypes that go with those labels.

I’ve spent the last ten years learning that I am also much more than that. I’m ‘even-more-stubborn-than-you-are.’ I’m a fighter and a dreamer. I am a perpetual student, I don’t learn fast, but I learn. I know what I want, and Get Out Of My Way, I’m Going To Figure Out How To Get It.

At the top of my list is a solid marriage. Did you hear me not say ‘perfect,’ marriage? Did you hear me not say ‘exciting’ marriage? Did you hear me not say ‘fairy-tale’ marriage?

My in-laws have been married for thirty-four years (did you get that – I said THIRTY-FOUR YEARS, count them 20, 25, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34 years)! My MIL respects, accepts and takes care of Ian’s dad unconditionally. You can see in his eyes how proud my FIL is to be married to Ian’s mom.

It sounds like its supposed to be so stinking simple, but I’ve never seen it done before – so maybe it really isn’t. It’s just amazing to me. Before we married, I told Ian that this is what I want for our lives. Ian chose to honor me by asking me to dance to this at our wedding.

My adorable father-in-law turned 64 this year, and my mother-in-law still puts up with him! I hope they get it – I wanna be like them.

This is the birthday gift that they sent me this year. I almost died laughing when I pulled it out of the box.

UPDATE: OK, so I ran to get the camera and I started blogging before I got all the way through the package. Seriously, this time, I really DID nearly die laughing when I pulled these instructions out of the box.

Liberace: Good Bye, Fare Well

Liberace: Good Bye, Fare Well

Ladies and Gentlemen, Libarace has left the building!

We did it! We finally ended the place setting madness! MiniMartha hooked me up with a 20% coupon for a Mikasa outlet store, and I went to town. The poor boy who asked if he could help me find anything got a run for his money.

“Yes, I’ve returned 6 sets of dishes because they were all warped. I need everyday dishes for 6 and china for 12. I’ll pay the money, but I need to make sure they’re not warped!”

Three-and-a-half hours. I spent three-and-a-half hours opening and inspecting every piece in three 92 piece china sets, and three 30 piece sets. That’s 366 dishes people! I felt like Emily Gilmore! Let this be a warning to anyone considering setting up house!! The store manager had 3 sales associates on their knees repacking the dishes I unpacked!

I had to get a referral to the store from a friend’s mom, because, let’s face it: What do I know about buying housewares?? This Mikasa store happens to be in the town were I grew up. It’s been there since I was 17 years old, and I’ve walked past it many times without the slightest interest in looking in the window.

“Bah! Crystal, I don’t like crystal!” I honestly couldn’t tell you what was in the store, because I had never looked. While the sales people were running around doing my bidding, I had some time to browse for the first time.

Marriage really gives you a new set of eyes. Suddenly, I’m justifying a 3-tier desert server because we have a Really Tiny apartment with a matching Really Tiny dining room table. And those ugly lead crystal water goblets from Auntie? I drop them in the sink all the time, and they never break! I really should buy 8 more! And why on earth would I pour water into lead crystal goblets with a plastic water pitcher? Hey! The glass snowflake ornaments are only $5 (and our Christmas tree theme is snowflakes)!!

Hubby got a phone call from the store: “Honey, will you let me back in the house tonight if i swear that I’ll never buy another dish again?”

Six Sets of Returned Dishes: $0.
Three tanks of gas driving to retail stores: $150.
Calling stores to see if they have this set and that set: $4.
Not having to listen to your wife whine about warped dishes: Priceless.

Me ~ Newleywed Ramblings

Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 5 interesting facts about yourself. Then choose 5 people you want to tag and list their names. 

Five Facts:

  1. I am pathetically obsessed with closet organization. Everything must have its own place! On date night, we go to The Container Store, and if DH is lucky, he only has to spend $200 to make me stop drooling and hugging the items for sale.
  2. I’m a daydreaming escapist. I had entire families of imaginary friends growing up, usually big brothers or aunts and uncles. I am still chronically lonely.
  3. In spite of how much I blog, I feel like I don’t have that much to say.
  4. I rode a horse in the Rose Parade. My goofy grin was on CBS for 30 seconds.
  5. I talk to myself when I think no one can hear me. Shhhh!

Christmas Meme

1. Wrapping or gift bags? Wrapping paper, with bows. But I’m cheap, so I’ll use bags if that’s what I have leftover from last year.

2. Real or artificial tree? The Dog hasn’t been interested in destroying my tree, so real tree it is.

3. When do you put up the tree? I resist the urge to put it up the day after Thanksgiving. First weekend in December.

4. When do you take the tree down? December 26 if it’s already dried out.

5. Do you like eggnog? I like a little sip of eggnog. A whole glass is just gross.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I got a few cameras throughout the years.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? DH likes cheesy stuff like moose scupltures. I compromised and got a little tiny “Alaska” themed nativity. The wisemen are a moose, sea lion, and polar bear.

8. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? The clothing. It was terrible. I have one distant cousin with good taste in clothes, other that that, YIKES! Velvet overalls, the sweatshirt with a row of cats (backsides) wearing santa hats, the mother-daughter matching tie-dye moo moos, the sweater, the ruffled bodysuits, the white turtleneck with scales, the fourth-of-july-picnic on a blouse. The clothing, it was terrible.

9. Mail or email Christmas cards? Neither. I’m not that into giving/receiving cards. If DH wants to send a letter, he can write it, address it, print photos, lick stamps himself, and stand in line at the post office himself.

10. Favorite Christmas Movie? You know, that one, black and white, with the guy who throws himself off a bridge?

11. When do you start shopping for Christmas? October. I spread it out over 4-6 paychecks.

12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Gingerbread.

13. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Color.

14. Favorite Christmas song? “Carol of the Bells”

15. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Stay home (its a fantasy though).

16. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer. Yes.
Dasher, Dance, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen. Rudolph, too.

17. Angel on the tree top or a star? Star.

18. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning? Christmas morning.

19. Most annoying thing about this time of year? Expectations.

20. Do you decorate your tree in any specific theme or color? Blue/Silver snowflakes and icicles.

21. What do you leave for Santa? I’ve never left anything for Santa.

22. Least favorite holiday song? Christmas songs by Amy Grant.

23. Favorite ornament? Stephanie sent us an “our first Christmas” snowflake. I should put a picture in that sucker.

I’m Not Dead Yet!

Ok, Ok, Ok! I’m here, really!

Time to admit that (gasp!) I got sick of NaBloPoMo. I tried to fake it and post-date a couple of entries, I tried to bribe the husband to go post something for me, but naaaaah, I’m over it.

Then again, It’s NaBloPoMo and here I am… posting.

I’ve officially received a “Where have you been?” email from a blogosphere friend. Don’t worry! I’m here, I’m fine, just busy.

We are deep into the Christmas Crazies. I’ve been online long enough to read my feed and keep up with y’all, but not enough to write.

I’ve been offline and spending evenings cooking, reading a Dean Koontz novel, catching up on a huge-stack-of-unread-magazines and tv episodes. I’m in between terms at school, so I’ve been prepping for my next class. Wanna hear a Stress Dream?

So this summer I picked up a class that was particularly stressful to teach. Before that class, and again last night I dreamed that I walked into the classroom full of students and started talking but they weren’t listening. So I truck along and write something on the board, and when I look back at the class they have all turned their chairs and monitors around and are facing the back of the room, with their backs to me. Ignoring me? Taking someone else’s class? I’m not sure, but I wake up feeling insecure. Like I need more insecurity in my life.

That Sweet Man I Married was kind enough to endulge my request for yarn and a crochet hook last night. He went out at 8:30 and brought home yarn, hooks, books, and chocolate. Its cold, I’m tired, and I wanted something mindless to do with my hands while watching tv. Never mind that last night’s Gilmore Girls episode was Knit, People! Knit!

What are you doing reading blogs? Go outside and enjoy the Santa Ana Winds!!!

Thanksgiving Play-by-Play: Chapter Two

The Animal Planet episode chronicled the adventure of some idiot who set out to pet a cobra on the head. Apparantly Steve Irwin died in vain. The camera man, he was smart enough to back away when necessary. After I snapped the picture of that scintillating episode, we headed out to Venice for Turkey dinner.

My Cousin sold her soul to now hosts Thanksgiving at her house every year to justify paying for this beautiful kitchen remodel.

We had a very yummy dinner, and this year she actually let everyone help. Yay. I was afraid she was starting to turn into my Grand Martyr Mother.

The turkeys were yummy. Yes, I said “turkeys” plural. Maybe we still need to work on my cousin and the overdoingitness. She bought two “smaller” ones this year so that she would have an easier time of flipping the bird (hee hee) half way through cooking it. Flipping the bird has something to do with keeping the turkey moist. Whatever. It worked. Yummy.

I have found stuffing that I will eat. Someone brought cornbread dressing, and it wasn’t reheated soggy breadcrumbs like that other cr stuff. I shall have to scour the net for a similar recipe.

I was Out-Potatoed. I brought sweet potato puree and some fancypants brought Pecan And Walnut Crusted Sweet Potato Bake. Is there an emoticon for MOCKING!? Pecan And Walnut Crusted… meh meh meh meh meh. It was better than mine. Dang it. I guess I have to come up with a new trick.

And the pie. Good grief. There was so much pie.  Two people were told to bring one, and they each brought three. Pecan, chocolate mouse, apricot, peach… I ate ice cream instead.
We made it an early night because My Cousin has an unrelenting retail job and has to be up at 5 a.m. 257 days a year.

DH and I went looking for something to do at 8 p.m. We had two choices one of them was wait in line at Walmart for whatever-is-supposedly-worth-waiting-in-line-all-night-for.

I was not about to let Ian stand in this line all night, or take pictures of the crazies people standing in the line. Movie! Movies! Let’s go to a movie!!!
We saw Deja Vu. It was good. Go see it. I even stayed awake all the way to the end, that’s how good it was!

Apparantly DH is just now getting in the swing of Christmas Shopping. Is there anything we need to get up at 5 a.m. to go buy? Are you sure you don’t want anything from Fry’s? I’ll go stand in line if there’s something that you want. Who are we shopping for? What are we getting him? Her? Them? We decided that nothing had to be purchased at 5 a.m.
As we settled into bed, DH says: “I want to get up at five just to go take pictures of the people in the line!”

“Good NIGHT Ian!”

Happy Post Turkey Shopping, Internets. I think I shall go back to bed.