Cynical Gen X & Child of the 80’s

If you look over there you will see some of the labels I have given myself. Two of them are Child of the 80's and Cynical Gen Xer.

In the late 80's and early 90's, the housing market in California sucked. If you are taking notes at home, that's spelled: S-U-C-K-E-D.

In fifth grade, some bureaucratic career-enhancing school board member decided to do some residential rezoning. My three favorite classmates lived on that side of the line. They were transferred to the other elementary, and filtered into the other jr. high and high school. I've run into each of them once since then. If they acknowledged that they knew me, I got "Hey", No Good Byes.

When I was nine years old, my next door neighbor and best friend Angela was the youngest of 5. Her father's job was eliminated in California, he was laid off and told he could have a job in Missouri. Up went the Cent*ry 21 Sign. It stayed in their front yard for two years. TWO YEARS, her family of 7 lived off of savings and credit cards. Two years, they talked about moving, selling the house, getting out of California, getting back to work. Every day for two years I looked out our dining room window and watched the top of the For Sale sign. Just before 6th grade, I was packed in the car and told to go to the city Labor Day parade. When I finally got home from that stupid parade, she was already gone. No Good Byes.

In sixth grade I met Amber & Laura, and in seventh grade I met Lee. Laura was too cool for words. She looked older, and had seen it all because she had 2 older sisters. She was just so far above all of the juvenile social drama. The first day of 7th grade, her name was called off the choir roster. A classmate who lived near her said she'd moved back to South Dakota over the summer. Poof. Just like that. No Good Byes.

Whether she liked it or not, Amber was just as goofy as me. We were thick as thieves for a year or two, and then one day she said "You know, I've noticed that a lot of my friends just aren't very cool." Well, you can't fault honesty. She got herself a new crowd, and I hung out with other friends like Lee. Some time around 8th grade, her mother got transferred to Idaho. Her mother was transferred back eventually, but our friendship was never the same. Today, she still hasn't added me as a friend on my*space. No Good Byes.

In ninth grade, another School board Hopeful rezoned the high schools. And, of course, Lee lived on the other side of the line. I clung to her, or at least the idea of her through all of 9th grade even though we were growing apart. After 9th grade, I even signed up to be a Cub Scout counselor so that I could have some time with her that summer. But high school is high school, as we started figuring out who we were; we had less and less in common. Junior year, I was the *last* person to find out that she was pregnant. That still hurts but it was my own darn fault. She ended up moving to Kansas with her (now-ex) husband. No Good Byes.

After high school and college it wasn't so hard. The high school kids a grade older move on, and you never have time to visit the kids a grade younger when your out. It just kind of happens: kids filter in, adults filter out. No Good Byes.

In college, it was only hard to see friends move on because of my childhood experiences. I finally had a little control of my own life enough to be able to visit the classmates who move to another county. It stings when they're farther away, but not so bad because I can plan a 3 day weekend to go see them, and don't have to beg for the parent's permission.

Now, if I screw up my friendship with someone – It's my fault and not some job, housing market, bubble, or parental whim. Why did she leave the state to go find herself without saying Good Bye? Why the hell wasn't she the maid of honor at my wedding? Because I was a sucky friend, that's why. No Good Byes.

Its not fair. This one isn't my fault. Today, California is knee-deep in another decade of real-estate suckage. Plants are closing, gasoline costs more than fancy-assed name brand orange juice, and 300K buys a 60-year-old-teeny-tiny-fixer-upper-starter-condo-that-has-creepy-neighbors-and-no-yard-and-needs-new-plumbing. Can anyone out there prove that God isn't laughing at me? Bring it on! I dare you!

I'm 9 years old and I hurt. All over again. I'm back at the dinning room window waiting for that inevitable sale sign, praying that I don't get forced to go sit at another stupid parade. This time, I'm on strike! No Good Byes.

I Have Pink Hair! Ha!

 I hemmed and hawed for years, then I finally did it.

I have pink hair. The husband, he has not disowned me! We’ll see about the boss tomorrow morning.

UPDATE! When I checked DH’s site this morning, he had updated my avatar… its pretty accurate.

And no, the boss didn’t fire me either.

Pink Hair

Pink Hair. If I want Pink Hair does not mean I'm Staid!

I want to be perfectly clear. Staid is a of settled or sedate character; not flighty or capricious.


“Characterized by sedate dignity and often a strait-laced sense of propriety; sober.”

I drank more at Blogher than I did in seven total years of college, and my blogher peeps think I’m “staid!”

I’m not staid! Really, I just have a giant stick up my hmm-hmm. Not that that’s any better… but still.

I’ve always had this false sense of delayed gratification. This isn’t so bad when we’re talking about saving for a house, and paying off the car loan. Its become a way of life. I got through grad school on a wing and a prayer. But, after years of living off ramen noodles and peanut butter, I can’t break it!!!

Nah – Let’s not go to Rome for our honeymoon, we could do it for our ten-year anniversary.
I wish I could take my favorite teenagers to the water park, ::sigh::
Oh, Honey, we don’t need cable tv.
I wish I wasn’t too old to buy a pair of Heely’s
I wish I could have pink streaks in my hair…
DH is very supportive of all my wacky ideas. When I whine that I wanna go to a water park, he says “lets go!” Even Heelys. He walks me around the parking lot holding me up so I don’t fall, just like my uncle Gil did when I was five years old.

I’ve been on a thing lately. Why do I need validation and approval before I can do something self-indulgent and wacky once in a while? I am an adult. I have a paycheck. I’m out of debt. I’m a dink. What is my problem!?

MiniMartha has to tell me to click the send button when I put bras in the shopping cart at Vict*riasSecr*

I have to use a little kid’s birthday party as an excuse to buy Paint-by-Number posters.

I “ask” DH if I can have pink hair, only because I know he’d never say no – and then I have to ask my hairstylist if she will do it!? I’m paying her and I have to have her permission to have pink hair? What the??

I’ve been looking for an excuse to make Shrinky-Dinks for over a decade. Does anyone know where I can order them online??

Blog Me ~ Happy Blogoversary To Me.


UPDATE: Chadie tagged me so I can now be cool and answer questions that someone actually wants answers to! Here are Chadie’s interview questions:

What do your family and your children like that you are blogging?

Do they want you to write about them or they don't like that?
Well, we have “no kids, (yet),” but my husband does encourage me to blog. He thinks its funny that I flex my geeky muscles once in a while. Occasionally we get into a blog-fight, if he starts responding to my blog posts on his blog (jokingly).

Have you been at a Blog-Meeting before? Nope, never. I am scared too death. I can’t wait.

How did you get to know about BlogHer? I read a lot of blogs. Everyone came back from 2005 and posted all of their pictures and their personal experiences with meeting other bloggers. Everyone seemed to forge lasting friendships. I just had to be there this year!

Which are your three best posts in your blog? Looking back to before the wedding, I was REALLY stressed out, and it was so NOT funny at the time, but now I think the bridezilla meltdowns like this one and this one are pretty funny… at least now I understand why people were laughing at me back then.
I heard the most comments from people after the moron *tried* to break into my car.

Why did you start blogging? Do blog of the same reason now or has it changed? I started blogging as a stress reliever before the wedding. If I could rant once to the internet, then I wouldn’t have to rant over and over and over to each of my friends that was helping me get ready for the wedding.

The other questions I answered myself start here:

When did you start blogging and why? Or Talk about your blog. What can I learn about you in under 5 minutes? I started blogging while I was engaged to DH. had linked to Heather Armstrong’s blog as one of 2005’s best web sites. I didn’t even know what a blog was, but I was hooked from the start!

How do you use blogging to build friendships? Ok, so I’m lame because I’m too shy. I read blogs because I can find other peoples perspective on the things I am facing (married life) or will face some day (mommyblogs). One of the hardest things about going from bridezilla to dinky is moving farther away from the network of people i’ve always relied on for advice and perspective. Blogs definately make me feel less lonely.

Who do you read every day, rain or shine? clickmom. She posts EVERY DAY, I just don’t have that much to say. She’s also very raw and unpolished unlike most of my other favorite reads. I read the big three, spacerider, and my newest addiction is PW.

What don’t you write about? My immediate family. I’ve never been able to communicate to them that they need to learn the difference between a “smile” and “straight teeth.” Sometimes I think they just don’t *want* to look past the orthodontia.

How do you feel about meeting bloggers in real life? Are you nervous? Will you have great expectations? What do you hope to take away from the BlogHer experience? Holy Guacamole!!! I am so nervous and so excited. 4 more days… I’m just dying. I’m hoping that the big three on my list will not be too swamped/papperazzied to stop and chat. I feel a little silly. I hurt for people who pour out their lives to the internet in good and bad. I’m so sad for mommyneedscoffee and busymom today – I’ve never even met the chicks.

So soon we’re going to meet each other at BlogHer. Important question. How do you party? Um. Refer to the above comment about social skills… I’ll be the lemming standing by the wall wearing blue jeans and a sloppy pedicure.

Are you and your blogging persona the same person? I dunno, what’s my blogging persona like?Â

Have you ever anonymously posted on a site to flame them? Nope.  

If you had a super power, what would it be? I used to say “teleporting,” because I couldn’t get anywhere fast enough.  Now I guess I’d like to say “Able to get ready for work in 10 minutes flat… AND look good doing it.”

So, OodleDay got me thinking…Â

10 years ago, July 18, 1996: I spent the summer before my senior year *studying.* Not studying for college… but memorizing my Economics, Government, and Varsity Choir homework. I was juggling babysitting with yearbook camp at UCLA, and the youthgroup leadership team at church. I was staying busy just to stay out of my head. That was the year I started getting treated for a myriad of “stress related” afflictions.

8 years ago, July 18, 1998:I actually still have the monthly planners that I kept obsessing over *religiously* through out college. I couldn’t make a decision without looking in the book. What does the book say now? The book says that week I was I was stuck living at home that summer – after 9 months of freedom living on my own at school. I was selling knives (it was better money than flipping burgers,and I only cut my hand open once). I was horse sitting a horse I couldn’t ride, and desperate to prove myself capable of caring for a horse of my own. So desperate, that I rode on a quadrille team I couldn’t stand.

6 years ago, July 18, 2000:I had finally earned a horse of my own, but apparently I was the only one who didn't know that yet. I had asked for a horse “for the summer” and treated her like a borrowed treasure. It didn’t occur to me that the little mule would be “mine” for the next 5 years. I was working graveyard shift at the campus hotel, preparing for the GWT (the Did you learn to write in college) test.

5 years ago, July 18, 2001: Working for the dean of faculty every day, baby sitting, dog sitting at houses in two different counties, riding my horse, getting my horses’ hooves trimmed, mailing transcripts to the car insurance guy to continue my good student discount, getting my transmission fixed, picking up my then boyfriend’s birthday gift, helping him pack and move, helping my friend (later bridesmaid) move, and buying airfare for my my Elfin friend’s wedding.

4 years ago, July 18, 2002: I graduated college, spent a week in the dentist’s office, and then started graduate school. I was still working for the dean of faculty, and still riding but I had been assigned to a different horse because “mine” was pregnant that year. This marked the beginning of my near-sited-ness, 8 hour days in the computer lab working on websites and Flash animations.

3 years ago, July 18, 2003: Two days before I met The Geek Of My Dreams. I was an intern for a computer school, writing the very first lines of the very first draft of my thesis. I dont know what possessed me to (try to) learn php, javascript and to ride in a western saddle that year. I was riding two horses every day – I had earned the priviledge of riding the “Princess” of the barn, but I couldn’t let go of my little mule.

2 years ago, July 18, 2004:The book says that entire days were filled in with nothing but “Thesis.” I was so stressed about finishing grad school that I had to stop riding. I trained new students to replace me in the dean’s office, wrote curriculum for my thesis, and wondered what the heck i was gonna do with life after college. When I said “Man, I wish i could take Goose, Moose, and Monkey to the waterpark” The Geek of My Dreams said “Lets go.”

Last year, July 18, 2005: That Geek had proposed in 2004 and we started planning our lives together. He’s built me lots of geeky toys. Everything from help with my thesis, to a new CPU, to any website I could dream up. (Ask me about usetheschwarts dot com one of these days.) I had never heard of a blog until CNN put up a link to the top websites of 2005. I was hooked on dooce.  We had planned our trip to the river – but I didn’t want to go, because I’d miss updates on Heather’s site. That Geek was nice enough to archive the entire domain and store it on his laptop so I could get my fix at the river -  I’m a lemming, I HAD TO HAVE ONE!

And there you have it. Happy Blogoversary to me.

Today: surviving My First Teaching Job, getting used to being a Dink(y) working stiff, adjusting to a new church group, going out with “Other Married Couples,” learning not to yell “$h!t” when I get a face full of flames from the pastor’s BBQ, admitting I’m mad at God, remembering not to forget when DH has a headache and needs to go home for some Advil, loving and hating all 650 square feet of “Our” home. Â

5 years from now, July 18, 2011:Hmm… Mommyblogging? A Two-Year-Old? Monthly Newsletters? A home? Telecommuting from the only house we could afford to buy (in Siberia)?

10 years from now, July 18, 2016:I can’t even see it. A Ph. D? An 8 year old kid? Another baby? Being used to DH’s snoring? I can’t imagine.


This weekend I had errands to run. New passport, lesson plans, pick up bracelet from jewler (again!), Britta filters and light mayonaise.

Between stopping at the civic center to request a new passport and heading to the jeweler i stopped at W*lmart to pick up the Britta filters and mayonaise.

By the time the weekend was over, I bought:
a family size tent
an electric ice cream maker
bubble gum
candy to mix in the new ice cream maker
Lysol that doesn't smell as bad as the half used can we already own
*stuff* from the pharmacy
a purse organizer
a skirt
2 new pairs of flip flops
a sweater
a pair of pants (88 dollars marked down to 15!!!)
Britta filters

and… a pair of Heelys.

Just as I was about to write “Please. Send. Help.” our Neilson survey Home Scan Consumer Panel came in the mail.


IJ came to stay with us this weekend. See what happens when you leave us alone with children?

I think we had more fun than he did.