Cameraphone: You Suck

Dear Cameraphone,

You suck.

I’m not one who needs a fancy cell phone. But alas, there was no Old-Folks Cell Phone when I needed a new one. I don’t need anything but a dial pad and a send button. I was irked because I couldn’t find a cell phone without expensive extras like a color display, 32 bit ringones and an operating system of some sort. I agreed to purchase this nonsense because there was no cheaper alternative in the store.

But still, you tempted me.You tempt me with fancy advertisements and neat little toys. Bluetooth? What is this seductive hold you had on me? The possibilities seemed endless. Psychadelic Penguins? No Problem!

No more. Our love affair is over.

While it is handy to have a cameraphone for spontaneous outings, you are not a spontaneous phonecamera. Half the time, when I go to take a photo, it takes me 3 minutes to get you into the mode (or mood) to take a picture. It is nice to have pictures at the Weird Al concert, like this one.
It’s nice to grab a shot on vacation. This makes a lovely picture on my cellphone wallpaper, but it doesn’t go much farther than that.

So I take you along with me on outings, stuff you into my purse for a special day with a friend. Wait? Which friend was this? I can hardly tell?

I realize that you are a phone first, and a camera second, but if this is the best that you can do, then you are on your way out the door.
How shall I mark this special day? Shall I fill in the gaps in my memory with a sharpie? Is that what you would have me do?

This is not acceptable! This clown! This is not the face of my friend!

It takes me 47.2 steps to get Bluetooth to send these photos to my desktop, and then THIS is what you have to offer?

You and me, cameraphone, we are finished.